NTMP 105: Megaschwaggins

"If you build it, they will cream."

New-To-Me Phrases, March 24, 2024

Danville Dairy Daddies * Chillbo Schwaggins * The Great Ziggurat of Ur * Sacarons * Megapod * Fellatiossieur * Polyjamorous * Sazón

Photo by Ranae Smith on Unsplash

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The Phrases, With Context

This week we have strange daddies, spice ignorance, kickass temple names, inflatable labia, and more.

At least three of my readers expressed enthusiastic interest in doing a PowerPoint party (aka Drink Talk Learn). I’m thinking of making this a virtual NTMP event—possibly phrase-themed. Reply or comment if you’re interested.

Let’s get to it!

1. Danville Dairy Daddies

My friend Kelly, who writesStacked Thoughts from Kelly Jensen shared a link about this team and it definitely speaks to my interests: Weird minor league baseball team names. From the Carolina Disco Turkeys to the Rocket City Trash Pandas, minor league ball goes deeply weird and I am here for it. There’s zero reason to use a racist trope for your team when you can be this creative in choosing a name.

The Dairy Daddies’ mascot—I am not kidding—is called McCreamy.

Here’s their Twitter bio:

Whoever does their marketing is a goddamned American hero. Exhibit B:

2. Chillbo Schwaggins

Via my Hag friend Wendy, this is an actual product that actual people buy - an inflatable lounger that looks like a hot dog bun for people. Do sharks like hot dogs? Google that and get back to me.

3. The Great Ziggurat of Ur

As a phrase, this is extremely cool. I found it in the NYT Crossword, because I am extremely cool.

“Home to the Great Ziggurat of Ur” was the clue and the answer was Iraq. I, an uncultured rube, had never heard of this, so it was time for some research.

Ziggurats are temples built thousands of years ago in Mesopotamia (present-day Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, and Syria).

Here’s a great explainer that goes into their history, with photos. There’s a city in Iraq called Ur, which was the the name of the dynasty that built the Great Ziggarut of Ur, a complex temple built for a moon goddess named Nanna.

I find it fascinating that we’re taught about pyramids in school in the U.S. but not ziggurats. At least this was my experience. Perhaps it’s because the ziggurats haven’t survived like the pyramids due to the way they were made:

“By the end of the sixth century BC, this ziggurat was ruined because unlike the Egyptian pyramids, the ziggurats were made of mud bricks and stacked with bitumen or mud. These bricks were moistened by winter rains and cracked in the summer heat.” Source

4. Sacarons

I quit Twitter and refuse to join TikTok or ::bile rises up:: Threads, but I can never fully quit social media because I can’t let go of the jokes. Here’s a great example of what I mean:

Someone in the comments called these sacarons and I died and am writing this from the beyond. ⚰️

5. Megapod

While hanging out in Southern California my friend Tonya saw a dolphin and I didn’t. Will I be mad about this forever? Probably. While googling where to see dolphins in the area, I came across this word for a giant gathering of dolphins. As you likely know (but maybe not!), groups of dolphins are known as pods. So a megapod is a large pod of dolphins. Here’s a video showing a megapod of thousands.

Pairing nicely with the Chillbo Schwaggins, while googling the word megapod, I came across this company that makes weather-proof “pods” and there’s some wild stuff in their product lines like the “personal protection pods.” This is not the dystopian reality I signed up for.

6. Fellatiossieur

It’s been a while since one of the dumb things I’ve said has made the list. From that same trip to L.A., my friend and I were trying to figure out how to parse a verb for fellatio and somehow this word emerged. Wear it in good health.

7. Polyjamorous

I’ll allow it. Source (h/t to Rebecca—I think?—for this one)

8. Sazón

I saw this while playing Phoodle, a food-themed version of Wordle. I, an uncultured rube, had never heard of it. Sazón is a spice blend popular in Puerto Rican, Dominican, and Mexican cuisine, made with coriander, cumin, garlic powder, oregano and more. The Puerto Rican version contains achiote (annatto seed powder), that gives sazón its red coloring. Definitely going to try this!

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Bonus Bit

1. Fake things that you really, really wish were real

I wrote last week about people’s commitment to a bit, and this definitely qualifies. A Facebook parody account for the City of Kenosha, Wisconsin created this work of art:

That’s it for this week! Remember to keep making it weird, and stay furiously curious!