NTMP 124: Zaddy Issues
MORE GRAIN IN THE TANK
New-To-Me Phrases, October 6, 2024
Zaddy * Davy Crackit * Motion is lotion * Pesto the baby penguin * Crikey steveirwini * TheoBros * The Supreme Court court * Calmer Corn Heads
The Phrases, With Context
This week, we have fuzzy baby kings, corny websites, stealth anniversary gifts, and more. Let’s get to it!
1. Zaddy
There was a window of three days after my recent knee replacement surgery when my husband went back to work and I still couldn’t drive. I sucked it up, emailed some friends, and shared a ride request Google Form to help me get to physical therapy. I feel incredibly lucky to have good people in my community I can reach out to like this.
An incidental benefit was that the drives ended up being a terrific way to catch up with friends, one of whom recommended the Netflix show KAOS. “Jeff Goldblum plays Zeus” was the only detail I really needed, but the show was really great and brilliantly cast. Billie Piper as Cassandra? Eddie Izzard as one of the Fates? Yes and yes! Janet McTeer as Hera was a delight from start to finish. I really hope this show gets renewed for more seasons.
As for the phrase, I found a couple of Instagram posts where Goldblum was promoting the show and referring to himself as Zaddy. Chef’s kiss. No notes.
Here’s one of my favorite Goldblum memes I swiped from Tumblr a million years ago :
Do you also have folders full of random memes and .GIFs?
2. Davy Crackit
My husband and I recently celebrated 27 years of marriage, which is wild because we just met 10 years ago, in the ‘90s. (I’m going to keep making this joke every year.)
One of our marital traditions is to agree not to get gifts, and then my husband surprises me with a gift anyway. This year, he got me something I’ve been requesting for years: A squirrel-themed nutcracker. Even better, it’s called Davy Crackit.
We were going to go out to dinner but neither of us was thrilled about spending too much money on too much food or being around people, so Dan suggested we hang out at one of our favorite coffee shops that serves amazing quiche and breakfast burritos instead. Brilliant.
During the drive we listened to the Smartless podcast featuring Ted Danson, which was great. He got the part on Cheers because one of the producers saw him at another audition for a role he didn’t get. This was a great reminder why we need to keep making an effort and showing up and being genuine in getting to know people; you never know where it will lead. Not in a gross, manipulative way. Just don’t hide your enthusiasm or keep all of your efforts to yourself.
3. Motion is lotion
I have severe osteoarthritis, and when I told my amazing physical therapist how much better I feel when I make sure to keep moving throughout the day, she said there was a saying among PTs: “Motion is lotion.”
4. Pesto the baby penguin
I know everyone is obsessed with Moo Deng but don’t sleep on Pesto the penguin, my personal favorite fuzzy big boy. Pesto lives at Sea Life Melbourne Aquarium and eats 25 fish per day. Way to get those protein macros, Pesto!
5. Crikey steveirwini
This week I learned that an extremely rare Australian snail is named after beloved scaly animal enthusiast Steve Irwin. Steve Irwin’s tree snail, Latin name Crikey steveirwini, has only been spotted in three locations in Queensland. It’s really pretty! It’s also nice to remember Steve Irwin, whose enthusiasm brought my family and me a lot of joy when my kids were younger.
6. TheoBros
An apt term for a disturbing cohort of evangelical Christianity in the U.S., as described in this feature in Mother Jones:
To Understand JD Vance, You Need to Meet the “TheoBros”
These extremely online young Christian men want to end the 19th Amendment, restore public flogging, and make America white again.
Yeah, no. Imagine if they all got therapy instead.
7. The Supreme Court court
This phrase is hilarious and nobody can tell me otherwise. Spotted in Sharon McMahon’s series about the current Supreme Court justices (this may be paywalled), not only did I learn they have their own basketball court, but what else are you gonna call it besides The Supreme Court court?
By the way, McMahon’s book, The Small and the Mighty, is already a NYT bestseller and I can’t wait to read it.
If you’re not familiar, McMahon—a former government teacher—started posting on Instagram in 2020 when she kept seeing misinformation about the election and January 6th. Her goal was to share the facts about how our government and democracy work so people can make informed choices not driven by the algorithms that are ruining our society.
Today she’s traveling around the country to huge sold-out venues on her book tour. I honestly can’t think of someone more deserving of the success she’s experiencing right now.
8. Calmer Corn Heads
I saw a truck with this phrase emblazoned on the side and did a double-take. My internal monologue went something like:
“Why calmer? Does corn even have a head? Am I hallucinating? I’ve been off the norco for weeks now!”
This is an actual company that makes “state of the art corn head technology” based in Alpha, Illinois—a town I’ve never heard of despite being from Illinois.
Honestly the best part of their website is this about page listing:
“GENE — VICE PRESIDENT OF CORN HEADS.”
Every page of this site has awesome phrases:
WORLD’S LARGEST CORN HEAD
MEET THE MEN WHO WILL MAKE YOUR NEW CORN HEAD!
Patented BT Chopper Stalk Rolls
MORE GRAIN IN THE TANK
Ear toss problems
HIGH-PROFILE, SHORTER SNOUTS
Corn-on-corn
DAVE HULA, CORN YIELD WORLD CHAMPION
I need to fist-bump the marketer who wrote this web copy. I still don’t quite understand what a corn head is, why it’s called a corn head, or why they need to be calmer (I’m guessing it’s a surname), but at least I know I wasn’t dreaming while driving.
Bonus Bit
Writer McKayley Gourley savages AI’s energy gluttony in this McSweeney’s piece.
That’s it for this week! Remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious.
Kaos was perfection for this Classics major! I hope there are more seasons too!