NTMP 142: Chibomination

Celebrate Free Ham Day every day.

New-To-Me Phrases, July 20, 2025

Micro-retirement * Free Ham Day * Fungal enthusiasts * Sam handwich * The Gen-Z Stare * SciFri * Cougar Puberty * MAXI-DUMP

Photo by Thomas S. on Unsplash

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NTMP is back with a new batch of phrases for your midsummer entertainment and edification! In this edition, we have fast-and-furious feathered friends, dumb gen trends, a mycological mystery, and more.

Let’s get to it!

The Phrases, With Context

1. Micro-retirement

Recently, Fast Company posted a generational scold piece titled, “What is a micro-retirement? Inside the latest Gen Z trend.”

Our favorite spicy dictionary responds:

Just as every generation likes to act superior about knowing more than the whippersnappers do, younger gens like to think they invented stuff that’s been around forever. Or maybe this is less about generational issues and more about TikTok viral phrases describing things that already exist, like girl dinners and everything showers.

My son’s boyfriend (who reads this newsletter—hi!!!) makes a great point in saying that generational differences seem to exist mainly to artibrarily divide people. Certain corners of the media do seem to like publishing negative takes on this topic, a la repeated claims that Millennials killed this or that thing, because it generates clicks.

2. Free Ham Day

We have the cutest bougie grocery shop in town and the owner often gives us samples when we stop by. One day he gave us an entire pack of sliced ham from France to go with some (incredible) horseradish dijon mustard we bought, making our lunchtime ham sammies next-level.

Buoyed by this protein boost, I began randomly yelling FREE HAM! for the rest of the week. I added Free Ham Day to our shared Google Calendar (it’s June 24th), and then renamed the family group chat FREE HAM. I’m already shopping for Free Ham Day Eve next year.

3. Fungal enthusiasts

Who is she?

We love a niche interest here at NTMP. On a recent hike, I kept seeing the cutest little mushrooms along the trail. Although let me tell you, seeing mushrooms in the woods after watching The Last of Us definitely hits different!

I wanted to identify the species I saw on that hike. While I haven’t yet done so, I did stumble upon the Illinois Mycologial Association at illinoismyco.org:

The Illinois Mycological Association is a group of fungal enthusiasts that meets frequently to learn about fungi through talks presented by experts, and to look for, identify and document wild fungi.

They also feature a Mushroom of the Month and local mushroom clubs. I love these people.

4. Sam handwich

Speaking of ham sandwiches, this spoonerism bit is pretty great. Via my friend Randal; source unknown aside from “a bunch of random Tumblr users who keep sharing it.”

5. The Gen-Z Stare

Despite the skepticism I just shared about generational differences, this TikTok completely nails the Gen-Z Stare, a thing I didn’t realize existed until I saw it. There’s a bit of a dustup online about this, but I literally do not care. Just watch and you’ll know what I mean.

6. SciFri

I’ll preface this by saying that I’m a bad progressive because I fully support the idea of public radio, but I don’t listen to it. I don’t listen to radio in general, however. I also support the brilliant send-ups of public radio that Parks and Rec did, featuring the voice actor for Homer Simpson as the host.

All this to say: I’d never heard of public radio’s Science Friday (cleverly nicknamed SciFri), but I love both the idea and the execution. They have a book club, an annual event called Cephalopod Week, and their about page teaser says “We’re fun science people.” What can I say? All of this sounds awesome and I regret that it took me so long to discover it.

7. Cougar puberty

From Threads, which I refuse to use but am willing to screenshot for posterity. h/t to NTMP reader Deborah for this gem:

8. MAXI-DUMP

Saw this emblazoned on the side of a trailer hauled by a pickup this week. It’s a brand name, and my only comment is: LOL.

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Asshole Bird of the Month: July 2025

Law-breaking duck caught on speed cam.

Look at this asshole, doing crimes

Via the BBC, earlier this year a Swiss traffic cam caught a mallard duck speeding along a residental street. The cam clocked the bird going 52 kph (32 mph) in a 32 kph (20 mph) zone. Local police believe they saw a similar duck doing the same thing back in 2018, and seem to think this is the same duck. I’m going to go out on a limb and say these detectives might not be the greatest, because mallards all look alike. You could fly 20 of them past that cam and nobody would know the difference.

But I like to think of this as the same mallard. It’s comforting somehow to know there’s a renegade avian scofflaw terrorizing the quiet streets of some small Swiss town. If you’ve ever met a bird, you know they have zero remorse. You can try citing one for speeding, but they’ll never be sorry, which I respect on a deep level.

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Bonus Bits

1. Yes We Can’t

Never change, Reddit.

3. The Em Dash responds to the AI allegations

Via Greg Mania at McSweeney’s. You can pry my em dashes out of my cold, undead, about-to-eat-you hands.

3. The Coldplay kiss cam memes to beat

Looking forward to the Halloween costumes. If you have no idea what these are referencing, here you go.

3. A Chibomination

Chicago faves Lou Malnati’s pizza and Portillo’s hot dogs have teamed up to make a Chicago Dog pizza, and I would’ve gone for it but it doesn’t appear to have cheese? I’m sorry but even Lou’s butter crust isn’t tasty enough to sustain this idea.

This was my reply in the family group chat:

Would you try this? Discuss.

That’s it for this week! I’ll be back with more phrases in August after my upcoming micro-retirement to the mountains. Thanks for reading, and remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious.