Welcome to Wordpecker!
New look, same phrasemaxxing
Minnesota NoICE | Fled Cruz | Bovino Bitch Fund | Exploding trees
Hello there!
If you’re feeling disoriented and wondering where your latest edition of New-To-Me Phrases went, it’s still here, but with a fresh new look:
How we got here
I’ve never really loved the name New-To-Me Phrases, but struggled to come up with anything better (cobbler’s kids, yada yada). When I started working on a book proposal based on this project, I decided to finally set my mind to rebranding, batting around ideas with some writer and marketing pals. One day, during a back-and-forth texting session with my brilliant, multi-talented friend Tonya, she sent Wordpecker and the brainstorming screeched to a halt as we pondered it.
It rang like a bell through my bones, and it made me laugh. We had a name!
Next, I hired my friend Charlie Trotter to help me with visual branding. The little guy above is based on the red-bellied woodpecker and I LOVE HIM. Charlie is mad talented—a fine artist, Squarespace designer, graphic designer, and I think he’s also some kind of super-spy who will spill state secrets if you feed him chicken pot pie.
And here we are. You’ll still get a batch of fresh phrases every Sunday (we are going back to weekly, baby!) from yours truly. I’m also working on some fun new perks for paid subscribers, so stay tuned!
Where to find Wordpecker:
New URL: heywordpecker.com
Instagram: @heywordpecker
Threads: @heywordpecker
Bluesky: @wordpecker
This week’s phrases
This week, we have more than one political phrase, because (repeat after me) making fun of the horrors is how we cope with the horrors. It also makes insecure dictator wannabe types big mad, which delights me personally, and maybe you, too. We also have arboreal pyrotechnics!
Let’s get to it!
1. Minnesota NoICE
I came up with this phrase the other day as a play on Minnesota nice, thinking it would make a great protest sign or t-shirt. Turns out I’m not the only one:
There’s a community directory going by this name - love seeing neighbors helping neighbors
Local artist Ricardo Levins Morales is selling Minnesota NoICE buttons
Boop the Void (what a great brand!) is selling these cute stickers, with all profits donated to the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota and Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee
Awesome side note: America’s government teacher Sharon McMahon has also raised over $150,000 for the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota by selling merch based on a comment from a hater who called her an “unhinged Minnesota lunatic.” I got myself a hat that reads: RADICALIZED BY BASIC HUMAN DECENCY. Get yours here - she also made unhinged lunatic merch for every state, lol.
I am seeing influencers become increasingly sick and tired of haters clogging up their DMs, sending insults, threats, and violent AI images featuring their likenesses, and they are starting to fight back by outing and shaming these keypad cowards. We love to see it!
2. Fled Cruz
My friend Mike from Austin, Texas shared this one when news broke that Ted Cruz was, once again, leaving his state before a major storm was due. If you’re not aware, Cruz was dragged on social in 2021 for vacationing in Cancun while his constituents suffered through hurricane Beryl.
Another Texas friend posted this on Instagram, lol:
People are also having fun with Cruz cruising on Reddit:
“If Ted flees, it’s about to freeze.”
“If Ted Cruz sees his shadow on a Delta flight you're in for 2 days of sleet.”
“Ted Cruz should be added to to list of weather predicting rodents.”
3. Bovino Bitch Fund
If you don’t know who fun-size Nazi cosplayer Greg Bovino is, congratulations. The man Lyz Lenz called Great Value General Sherman is the current head of US border patrol. Bovino was most recently in the news spreading a false narrative about the January 24th murder of VA nurse Alex Pretti by ICE agents, which was captured on video from multiple angles and appears to have gone down in a far different way than Pocket Himmler would have us believe.
Look, I know this news is really heavy and spinning a lot of people I know into despair. There’s no void big enough to scream into.
But consider this: As of this writing, Marisa Kabas at The Handbasket has raised $18.5K for the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota and the Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee (MIRAC) for calling Greg Bovino a bitch:
After months of watching this pathetic man tour around the country like a war tourist, I had enough. So I posted on Bluesky, “I’ve seen enough: Greg Bovino is a bitch.” I quickly received a Venmo for it, as has become tradition when I lob the b-word at a Trump lackey, but then it occurred to me this could be a great vehicle for fundraising to help the people hurt most by Bovino and his soldiers. A few minutes later I got another Venmo with the note “Bitch Bovino fund.” And thus the Greg Bovino Bitch Fund Benefiting Immigrant Rights in Minnesota was born.
4. Exploding trees
I had to cover this one given the frigid, snowy, icy weather much of the country is experiencing. Last week, I saw this post making the rounds - nice to see someone with a sense of humor at the helm of Kwik Trip’s socials:
Except for a three-year stint in Colorado, I’ve spent my entire life in the Midwest and have never heard of trees exploding due to extreme cold. Turns out “exploding” is a bit of an exaggeration: in below-zero temperatures, tree bark can crack open or limbs can snap off. Now that I’ve heard of. In fact, on a recent hike with a friend, we saw a pine tree that broke off mid-trunk and landed in some brush nearby:
While an “exploding” tree can make a loud sound—“like a gunshot,” according to Virginia Tech professor and tree physiology specialist1 John Seiler)—it’s not an explosion in the way we think of them in the movies. Though really, at this point, trees deciding to blow up rather than remain in this timeline wouldn’t surprise me.
Bonus Nugget
1. Sentient beef!
Scientists discovered a cow in Austria that uses a tool to scratch her back. Her name is Veronika, if you must know. This is a big deal in terms of how we view bovine intelligence, reports 404 Media:
Tool use is a sign of advanced cognition that has been observed in many animals, including primates, orcas, and birds. But cows, with their vacant expressions and docile nature, have been overlooked as likely tool users, except as a joke in Gary Larson’s Far Side cartoons.
Here’s a link to the full study, with video of Ms. Veronika making distinct choices to use either end of a broom to scratch different body parts. I LOVE HER.
That’s it for this week! Remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious!
Call your senators and reps every. single. day. Even the ones who won’t listen; they still take the temperature of what matters to constituents, and the more scared they are about that, the better.
Adding “tree physiology specialist” to my list of cool jobs!
You had me at the birb.
Such a fun new look. Congratulations!