WP 05: I'd Mow That for a Dollar.
"Riiiiiight, Kiwi?"
Robocutter | Boopgate | Sportswashing | Nazgul | Pointy Duck | Kiwi Herman | Goobis
This week in phraseology
In this edition, we have belated Olympic buzz, fun animal stories, and new family member news.
Also, something fun: The first person in comments who can name both movies referenced in this edition’s heading and subheading will win a brand new Wordpecker sticker!
Let’s get to it!
1. Robocutter
As a follow-up to a recent post about the capercaillie, an endangered Scottish bird, I read about an automated brush cutter used to encourage growth of one of the birds’ favorite foods. Colloquially called a Robocutter, you can see an image of one here, and delight in how it looks like a shih tsu.
I don’t know about you, but I am hungry for good news, and so here’s some: capercaillie populations have increased 50% since 2020. 👏🏻
Can we please make an animated short about Robocutter and the capercaillie adventuring in the forest?
2. Boopgate
Sorry I’m late on Olympic news, but I was on vacation with my husband two weeks ago disentangling from some pretty severe burnout. A huge privilege, I know. This phrase comes from a cheating scandal in the winter Olympics sport we all love to mock: Curling.
During a match between the Swedish and Canadian teams, the Swedish team accused a Canadian player of touching the curling stone after the point where you’re not supposed to do that (hilariously known as the “hogline”). The footage looks like he’s booping the curling stone, and thus, boopgate took the internet by storm for about five minutes. (Good memes at the link.)
3. Sportswashing
By now you’ve likely read the news about Donald Trump congratulating the men’s Olympic hockey team for their gold medal win while making time to mock the women’s team, despite their similar but more notable victory. The men’s team went to the White House for the State of the Union address, where they were trotted out like they were in a dog show, a move journalist Frankie de la Cretaz calls sportswashing, a “well-known tactic of authoritarian regimes:”
[Trump] is following in the footsteps of Russia (the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics), China (the 2008 Beijing Summer Olympics), and Nazi Germany (the 1936 Berlin Summer Olympics), in using the “soft power” of hosting cultural events on an international stage to whitewash the government’s misdeeds.
Meanwhile, the women’s team will be celebrated in a Las Vegas event this summer hosted by ::checks notes:: Flavor Flav, with Sheila E. performing for free to support women in sports. (h/t to Lyz Lenz at Men Yell at Me for this phrase.)
4. Nazgul
It had to happen sometime; the Lord of the Rings fandom is gonna come for me because I didn’t know this reference. During an Olympic skiing event, a wolfdog named Nazgul decided to leave home and compete in the games and even crossing the finish line. Nazgul was returned to his humans, declared a Very Good Boy, and awarded an honorary gold medal for his efforts.
5. Pointy Duck
This one is pretty self-explanatory. I love phrases that find a funny new way of describing something ordinary, and this one, uh, fits the bill1:
6. Kiwi Herman
More on the good news front: We adopted a budgie! A friend heard that someone needed to surrender their pet bird and asked if we were interested. At first, my kids were hesitant to adopt an older bird who might not live that long, but when I asked if they would feel differently knowing our family would give them the best possible life, they caved. It didn’t take much, honestly.
Kiwi is a green and yellow fellow we estimate to be about eight years old; budgies tend to live around 10 years but can make it to 15. He’s very sweet, with a melodic song like running water. I immediately nicknamed him The Keister and one of my kids (who does not read this newsletter) countered with . . . Kiwi Herman. Proud parenting moment right there. Here’s a photo courtesy of my son’s boyfriend - budgies are notoriously hard to photograph because they’re constantly moving:
Fun fact: We know Kiwi is a boy because his cere (nose) is bright blue. Females tend to have a beige, peach, or even lilac cere.
7. Goobis
One of our fish died recently; RIP Homer, you made it like three years, which is no small feat for a guy of your tiny size. Pop Tart needed a new roomie, so off we went to the local pet store to adopt Kermit. We also got to meet Goobis (!!!!!):
I don’t know what Goobis is, but I do know that I love them.
Bonus Nuggets
1. Calling all Trekkies
This incredible riff on ST:TNG is for you:
2. Ugh.
Not this shit again.
3. If the fart fits . . .
Via Holly at Holly's House of Stickers:
ChatGPT, when said with a French accent, sounds exactly like “Chat, j’ai peté” which is french for “Cat, I farted.”
This one feels appropriate because I know cats who can fart better content than ChatGPT. Speaking of cat farts, my very first job was as a data entry clerk in an office with a cat who hung out near our computer terminals cranking out farts that made a whistling sound. America does indeed have talent!
That’s it for this week. Remember to keep making it weird and stay furiously curious!
I am completely unapologetic about this pun.