WP 10: Man Tornado
Speaking of empty calories
Jeffermation | Food tornado | Romanian Rollover | Nurdles | Sewer Socialism | Man Cereal
This week in phraseology
I’m writing to you from paradise, aka spring in the Midwest. Windows are open 24/7, trees are flowering, birds are singing, daffodils, tulips, and trillium are blooming, and bunnies and groundhogs are looking cute while being destructive—a superpower if ever there was one.
I even saw two of our resident wild turkeys having sex on my neighbors’ lawn, while a third appeared to cheer them on. A fourth if you count me saying “hell yeah” as I coasted by in my Subaru.
Incidentally, did you know groundhogs could climb fences? I didn’t until this week:
But enough bragging about inhabiting the only good time of year to live here. You came here for unique words and phrases, and I’ve got some good ones for you. This week, we have geometric idiocracy, a cargo crime fighter, a testicular repast literally nobody asked for, and more.
Let’s get to it!
1. Jeffermation
Jeff Goldblum being charmingly egocentric is always a balm.
You should be able to click play on the web version of this edition without having to go to Instagram, but for those without an IG account, here’s a play-by-play:
We start with Goldblum talking to himself in a handheld mirror:
“Uh, Here’s a Jeffermation for you.
(Repeats for emphasis) A Jeffermation.
Uh, it goes like this: I am on fire.”
Then the camera pans away to show off his glorious floral print shirt, as he adds:
“And: Who’s got marshmallows?” 🔥
It’s just such a Jeff Goldblum thing to do. Like this:
I will forever be mad that Netflix cancelled the Greek mythology-themed series KAOS after just one season. Casting Goldblum as Zeus, aka Zaddy, was brilliant and the writing, casting, and cinematography were so good.
2. Food tornado
Jessica Knurick is a popular health and nutrition influencer who has a PhD in nutrition science. She recently shared a video about RFK Jr. inverting the food pyramid—a government model that hasn’t been a thing since 2005.
So, flipping the dormant food pyramid = busywork that appears like actual work and also has no tangible meaning or benefit to the public. Got it.
In this video, Dr. Knurick shares why inverting the food pyramid an empty-calorie move, adding that she heard someone call it the food tornado. The whole video is great and worth a watch to see her call out Kennedy’s BS.
3. Romanian Rollover
TV writer Brian Grubb at Type Click Type also enjoys writing about heists - a great Venn diagram of interests.
While covering the recent Kit Kat bar heist in Europe, Grubb linked to this fascinating article about Mike Dawber, the UK’s leading detective covering cargo crime (both a great phrase and a TV show I would absolutely watch if someone made it):
The latest, and most audacious, type of cargo theft is known, somewhat dubiously, as the “Romanian rollover,” in which criminals from eastern Europe target trucks while they’re on the move. The pursuers climb on to their own bonnets and break into the truck ahead while on the motorway; boxes are tossed back at speeds of more than 50mph. Dawber showed me a video of one such operation: I watched as two men climbed out of the sunroof of an SUV that was tailgating a truck, one holding on to the others’ legs as he broke into the truck’s rear door ahead.
Somebody PLEASE make this TV show.
4. Nurdles (revisited)
This is the first time I’ve repeated a word for this project! The first time I covered nurdle back in 2023, we learned it’s a word used to describe “a wave-shaped blob of toothpaste.”
But a recent newsletter from the American Bird Conservancy shared that nurdles are tiny plastic pellets used to build larger products such as phone cases or food containers. When nurdles are accidentally or intentionally dumped into the water supply, wild birds can mistake them for food, with predictably devastating consequences. There is legislation making its way through the least functional Congress ever to prohibit plastic pellet discharge. Until then, we’re stuck with trusting companies to do the right thing.
We know how well that goes - there’s very recent history about corporate pollution in multiple places in the U.S. The Cuyahoga River used to regularly catch fire, FFS! Then we passed the Clean Water Act, which stopped companies from polluting on that scale.
Here’s another great example of what’s possible through citizen action that spurs legislation:
5. Sewer socialism
I like this phrase quite a bit because it’s both catchy and manages to spin a humble necessity into something immediately recognizable as a positive.
I shared this post summarizing Zohran Mamdani’s first 100 days in office as mayor of New York City, commenting that it sounds disgusting and terrible.
Affordable living? Universal childcare? Faster buses? What fresh hell is this?
I’d just read Cory Doctorow mention the phrase sewer socialism in a recent newsletter arguing that government austerity—aka starving government services—breeds fascism.
The piece mentions Mamdani, and got me curious about what that phrase meant:
Everywhere we turn, political leaders are rejecting generations of failed austerity in favor of "sewer socialism" – the idea that you get people to trust their government by earning that trust. Zohran Mamdani is fixing 100,000 potholes in the first 100 days, despite the multi-billion dollar deficit that outgoing Mayor Eric Adams created by "running the city like a business."
Essentially, sewer socialism describes how improving the everyday lives of people welcomes them into your politics. And it started in the Midwest—in Milwaukee!
Eric Blanc at Labor Politics wrote a detailed history of the origins of sewer socialism in Cream City:
It was easy to play with “revolutionary phrases,” but Berger noted that this did not do much to move workers closer to socialism. While it was important to continue propagating the big ideas of socialism, what America’s leftists needed above all was “concrete political achievements, not theoretical treatises ... less mouth-work, more footwork.”
Outside of the furthest extremes, people don’t want performative politics and lip service; they want evidence that their lives will be measurably better if they vote for you. I’d love to see more mainstream Democrats understand this, or get voted out in favor of progressive leaders who enact policies that actually benefit the people.
6. Man Cereal
What.
The best reply to this was: “Oh yeah? Explain to me what's in these Grape Nuts I've been eating then???”
Runner-up: “Up til now I've had to dip pop tarts in barbecue rub while polishing a replica sword.”
Here are two reviews of Man Cereal, because I love you:
I Tried ‘Man Cereal’—and Asked Dietitians for Their Thoughts. Things Got Ugly. - Men’s Health
I’m a 40-year-old woman. So why did I spend a week eating Man Cereal? - Yahoo!life
That’s it for this week! Remember to keep making it weird, and stay furiously curious!